Friday, July 23, 2010

Cut the crap and deal with it….

Time and time again, we fall! Yeah, trip, miss a step, stumble on some lousy stone blocking your way, you hiss, lament and move on. But other times, you stop, wonder why you just did that, ruminate about it for a short while and then eventually move on. We still move on! Truth is we always move on, we always do. The stone might have caused a bruise, be it big or small, but more often than always we move on. So I ask one big question, when we get hurt and bruised in that red spot that lies in our hearts, basically, when we get heart broken, why do we find it so hard to simply move on, the bad thought of it always lurkes around somewhere in our minds. We hurt ourselves the more. Its hard yeah sure, no one said it was easy but its definitely achievable to get over it and only you has the ability. It lies in your hands, you either pet it, try to heal it or squash the damn thing. We fall happily head over heels and the moment we fall out of that head over heels terribly over-incredible love affair you thought would end in marriage, we mourn about it like some one just died.
Sighs. Heart breaks. The sordid love affair just ended, we collapse and everything else collapses, we think with our head no more and everything else seems not to exist anymore, nothing matters anymore and yes, to some, love actually doesn’t exist and well probably never did.
There’s two persons involved in a broken relationship, sometimes three, (that’s the person who probably caused the mishap); but really in you two, one person’s going to have all the fun soon after and start life all over again with even more fun, why cant that fun loving person be… you. You really don’t have to be the person singing “I will survive”, rather be the one shouting out loud “Feels good to be alone, am having me some me time”. Sincerely I know it’s a litle hurtin; did I say hurting okay its terribly hurting to be jilted, cheated on and be the one with the bad bruises in a broken relationship, but fact still remains that what has happened has happened. Let your auto tune be positive and piercing, get up on your feet and stop being slouchy about a heart break. Your heart will be healed the only problem is when and how…basically how soon soon would be.
You should let bygones be bygones; you know why:
1. Your ex is probably going to get another current and most definitely cheat on the other person and keep living like the low life he/she probably is…
2. Be careful, be very careful, you know why? He/she is going to want to take advantage of the break up period flirt a little and this is done usually when he feels he misses you claiming he/she wants a comeback.
3. Be friends yeah but be friends from a distance, the only time you should make an appearance should be a grand one, make sure you look hot and most of all you have a better hottie beside you.
4. Who said break ups are not for the faint hearted, prove that lousy statement wrong.
5. On Facebook, please and please, make absolutely normal updates that have nothing to do with your ex...don’t sound pathetic always.
6. Look provocative! Make his mind rover, blow his mind and make him wish that you were still his….it’s all for one motive.
7. Songs you should avoid for that time being, please and please do not listen to songs that would only make you feel sad and hurt the more, listen to songs that would not alter your ego. I do rock, Metallica…lol…anything that makes you feel good with yourself.
8. Cut the crap of grieving over the loss, like I said it’s a loss and the loser is the other person and you worth a whole lot more than that.
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” If it’s not worth it….flush it! You’d be glad you did!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Words fly; Writings remain!

The consciousness that writing breeds brings us empowerment and knowledge. Words may tend to influence our actions sometimes but writing exerts and exhibits permanence. A book always has something to cathechize us, instruct us and initiate in us. Books have writings; they are like tracks, they keep us informed and enlightened. What would life be like without having something to keep us on track? Writings are like weapons, yes, they could be destructive, but like to the soldier, his weapon is his life saver. Writings sting, they instil in us and infuse in us the zeal to imagine and procreate our thoughts. Writings are never obsolete or passe, they always remain. They perform vital roles in our daily lives, as they affect most of us and even each and every one of us positively. They are expressive, there's an outpour of emotions; an outrage of our experiences. Wordings are better off as writings. It is sometimes said to be a gift, but not exactly. It's a daily sensation to everyone including me. It has become a part of me; and not just a part, an intense part. It is an achievement to be able to inspire with the use of words, it is an ability that one can better the life of another. Writings trigger in people's minds, not just to tell a tale but to tell a tale thats true and that can be used. Writings pour out the purest essence of the human mind; its spirit and its embodiment. To all writers who empower, you have within a treasure, extend your pleasures beyond all measure. There's absoluteness and self fulfilment in writing, it relates to our existence. It has in the past helped us to recover our cultural identity. Writing is in our contemporary life, we read about our life, we write about our life, we read about our travails, we try to correct oue wrongs. We say our prayers to the most high, he directs us through his writings. The pith and quintessence of writing is something we all cannot do without. There's a logical fusion of time and eternity in writings. Words fly; Writings truly remains!

Let's Talk!

Apparently, the one phrase most peeps, both guys and girls hate to hear is when one party in a relationship gives this phrase; 'We need to talk!' Aaaaaaargh, i can just imagine the flushed look on the other persons face, you can sense a whole lot of damage, bruise and grieve about to happen. To some its as good as a break up about to happen. One things for sure; someone is definitely unhappy. Talking is most expected to mean; 'Am getting sick and tired of this attitude you're putting up with!' or 'Am beginning to think we need a break!' those terrible phrases mean nothing but trouble & spells doom in a relationship. Its healthy to talk, but healthier to have healthy talks, talks that won't cause harm.
The one thing we unconsciously do is irritate, annoy & over pressurize our partners. We're really never perfect, ok, so don't expect this to not happen. Don't think you're never going to turn your partner off at some point with some not too pleasing behavioural patterns.
Its a sure thing to say you're sorry. It helps! Its a healing word, a sincere 'sorry' is one magic word that eases a lot of distress. We all know that some times, sorry is always like the hardest word but rily think of all the pain and hurt you must have avoided with that single 5 letter word. For whatever hurt you may have caused a 'sorry' (could) do the trick. It doesn't really matter who does the pleading first or who messed up and acted wrongly; what matters is that its a forgotten issue and you're remorse about it. Making amends make things work out for the better.
Now 'the talk' most times could span for as long as possible but its best to keep it as simple as possible. Here are a few things to note when giving 'the talk';

1. No matter how mad you are, never ever use bad, unwelcoming, and fowl languages; words that could affect the other person negatively. Better still, avoid abuses...for crying out loud, you probably would still kiss and make up. Don't use words you'd regret in the long run. Got it?

2. Go with a clear mind that the talk ain't an argument, and that its just a discussion nt a break up.

3. Please and please; avoid raising past errors & issues, it only makes things go sour...past is past...it should be long forgotten. Talk about the now & maybe the future, never about the past.

4. Never make assumptions! Assumptions as they say, is the mother of all fuck ups. You could ruin a beautiful thing by assuming wrongly. It poisons your thoughts; which causes bad riffs which in turn breeds broken relationships.

5. Be honest! Words have a life of their own, think before you speak!

Your talking should mean conversing positively with an open mind, an open heart and most importantly, thoughts of atonement. We can't do without hurting & so we should learn to say sorry. As hard as the word is, it's the most needed. Keep burning that true undiluted flame... You have the willpower & the ability, so let nothing, nothing at all drift you away! With all sincerity, be an embodiment of peace!

Life in our unperfect world!

We came into this world as imperfect beings. The world has never and would never embrace us.
We learn to survive and learn that in this life, you either take it as it is or work towards making it better. Retreating was almost in the picture; for I once was blind but now my sight is clearer than ever before. Life's harder when we expect things to happen just the way we want them to. We plan things out just to make them befitting for us. But in the long run a better life awaits us all. A plan that's far more perfect than we ever expected it to be. Being on a bed of roses is such a cliché, who sleeps on those these days; it’s only a dream when you find yourself actually sleeping on that kinda bed. The world is such a lively place, we meet different kinds of people, the funny, the ugly, the uncaring, and the sad truth is that the world has far more negative people in it. We can't help but accept these people to either treat them like they should be treated...like trash and just accept them just the way they are. The good ones, yeah, the ones we feel are just pleasant, beautiful, charming are just the most impossible people to get close to. These sorta people would hurt you, know they did and care less about it. We should run far away from these deceptive people, sleep with an open eye when around them & even have an extra eye when not around them. The people we meet and the people we live with determine how we see life. The people we love determine what love feels like. The way these people treat we determine what love is to us. An important thing we need to absorb is that there's no perfect being and as such no perfect love. There's no perfect heart and no perfect life. We can only but pray hope and believe that there would always be better days; times when we would smile unending and cry no more. Peace. It’s such a necessity; we won't have it if only we have found peace within. A lot of us battle the devil within and even the angel helping within. A confused spirit need not be alarmed or feel fearful, just have some trust & that glorious peace won't be farfetched. Peace is so beautiful; it’s like a partner to love. It lets you breathe life easily; it lets life become acceptable by you and everyone else. It releases the tension, rage and hurt that had once surrounded you. You then become happy; you have found joy! Joy! The smile on your face and the fact that you just smiled can actually put joy in someone else's heart. There's truly a powerful spirit in Joy, it encapsulates being happy, free from ills, being satisfied (in a way) & being beatified. Now this whole thing called life is pretty much simple; in life these three things work hand in hand, peace, love & joy! There's no exception to that rule. That glee, delight, gladness and mirth is often as a result of adoration, passion amity & benevolence, and as often as always these results to calmness, harmony and placidity. Our imperfect world! Life is to us the way we treat it. Invite peace into your heart and others too; accept love and share with those around you; receive the joy that lingers and let it stay within you! And life would become far more beautiful to you too!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Love thoughts!

I believe that the deepest and most sincere thing you can ever say to anyone dear to you is those three words. If someone inspires you, ignites you and just makes you feel wholesomely happy & fulfilled, you’d most definitely have to love that person. Imagine meeting someone who inspires you to love? Someone who has captured you so much your every sense is filled with love. Someone you inhale, someone you taste so deeply it feels like cool water; a divine connection that goes far beyond all measures of friendship and mere attraction. You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home.
Love, truly is a pulse of life, your life begins with that person, and without that person it is unbearable. Love is so beautiful, its beauty is hidden! Love makes life beautiful! It’s the best thing that can ever happen to anybody! When you love its almost true that you never have to say sorry cos’ you never have the tendencies to hurt yourselves. Don’t love someone who is beautiful; but love the one who can make your life beautiful. Love that person who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
Love the one who kisses your forehead subtly, who isn’t ashamed of you, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
Love him who says I love you sincerely a million times, who’s eyes say a whole lot more than those three words, whom u are very comfortable with, one who’s certain of you. One who knows he’s lucky to have you! One who would use his last breath to say I love you if he had to choose between loving you and breathing!
The truth about love is that you just can’t resist it no matter how many times you’ve been hurt!
Love truly!
Love purely!
Love, and don’t hate!
Most of all…Love unconditionally!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Murderly love.

Love surely has its bad sides no matter how much we argue this out; it’s still got its negativity. As possessive as it gets don’t you think it could become dangerous and harmful and so away from the whole positivity it’s supposed to possess? Fatherly love, motherly love, sisterly love, brotherly love, but of course the one that intrigues us to hear and talk about the intimate and over affectionate love. ‘Murderly’ love, the thought of it alone is scary but you’d be surprised at the things we do for love, the crazy things, if I may put it that way. It becomes so powerful, it takes the whole of our humanly being and wraps it up in an evil chest which more often than always ruins relationships. Don’t be too over the top possessive, jealous, domineering and the actual truth…selfish! It’s supposed to be a bond, an affiliation, something to make two people feel as one, but the moment one gets over the top and begins to over read every detail and wants to pioneer the relationship and wear the crown, it becomes murderly, there’s absolutely nothing beautiful about it. It becomes boring and unusual and annoying. It absolutely kills the word love and everything else you’ve been building dies. No matter the personage of an individual we should learn to adapt, love flows. You let things happen freely, you don’t force things to happen. Let it conquer. Let its healing power be a blessing!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Life's a teacher!

Its always been said that life sure is a teacher, sincerely in our daily lives the more we live the more we learn. We learn from our errors and the good part is the smart ones try it all over again and dont make mistakes anymore. Its unavoidable, we're bound to fall into pits one way or the other. In my country Naija, u need to be tough to survive, i grew up in a neighbourhood where everything was out of place, no laws, no order, everyone was free to do as they wished, only the strong did survive ... and ofcourse the ones that decided to keep mute, act dumb and try not to be seen or heard. Well i fall into the second category. I was shy and scared, i was more scared of the fact that i couldnt deal with the world out there, my eyes were shut from prying eyes. I made a couple of mistakes in my life, but lookin back at it, i dont see them as mistakes rather they were stepping stones, one of such has to do with the most important part of my life; my relationships. Looking back at it was i wrong or right to have...